Tuesday, August 23, 2005

When Does It Stop Becoming Stress and Start Becoming Age?

Not too long ago, I freaked out because I had a white hair on my head. Not an entire lock of them, not even a tiny patch but just one. It's only the 4th one I've had ever, with the last one being a few years ago which I chalked up to stress because we were dealing with moving and stressful house decisions. In fact, I think I've chalked them all up to stress so far because I only get them less than once in a blue moon. So when does it stop becoming about stress and start becoming because of the fact that I'm getting old? The first one that I had ever gotten was when I was in elementary school...maybe because of stress or some freak hormonal growing up thing. I think I was about 9 or 10 and I showed my mom where we had a "Hmm, that's strange" kind of moment and laughed at the thought of a 9 year old having stress before she plucked it out. The second one I got when I had first moved in with my then boyfriend/now husband to Baltimore, which is understandable because it was my first move away from home, not to mention the fact that it was far away, and the fact that it was also my first long term & serious relationship. The 3rd was during the aforementioned stressful house situation, and I kind of freaked out but not too much because of again, stress! With this last one, I don't know if it's because I'm not in my 20's anymore, or because I noticed a couple of new wrinkles in my face, but I freaked out. I mean FREAKED like I was ready to cry! I plucked it out and immediately called my husband at work.

(almost in tears) "Honey, I had a white hair! I'm oldddddd!"

(I could hear him trying to suppress the laughter, but the huge smile was coming through the phone)

"What? You did? What did you do?"

"I pulled it out! What do you think I did?! When did I become olddddd? Do I look old?"

"What?! Whatever!"

"Thanks alot babe! I'm old and you don't care!"

"Stace, you're not old. You look fine! You're beautiful and I love you"

(aah, how sweet of him, but I wasn't buying it because darnit I had just pulled out a WHITE hair!)

So after a bit more whining, I let him go back to work and lamented the fact that a two inch strand of my hair had turned white and was trying to ruin my life. It turned out that I had to think about it for two whole weeks before realizing I had been under a lot of stress this time too, especially with Dad being in the hospital recently. That brought a little relief, but sooner or later I will have white hair upon white hair, and I don't know how I'm going to handle it. Call me vain, say it's just hair, or what have you but it's a big fear of mine. A box of hair dye will only go so far until you start looking like the old wrinkly lady that's obviously dying her hair. (sigh) I don't want to get old! What to do, what to do...

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