Friday, April 22, 2005
This Just Sucks!
I'm at an all time low. It's a shitty back week, and my doctor has referred me to physical therapy, but my appointment isn't until next Thursday. I pushed it too much because I wanted to give my daughter a nice birthday (you're only 5 yrs old once), and what was once holding up is now failing me. I feel like a caged animal with the walls starting to cave in on me. I'm only able to take small steps around the house, and even walking from the bedroom to the kitchen is a chore. I'm running out of things to keep me sane and yes, even this TV whore can only watch so much! My husband, who has been working from home all week, thankfully moved the computer to the floor today upon request so I can atleast have another way to escape to the outside world. I hate feeling like a burden. I hate the way that the kids look at me with pity when I tell them that my back hurts me too much to go to baseball games, play at the park, go ANYWHERE or do ANYTHING with them. I'll be 31 next month and I'm supposed to be enjoying life with my beautiful family. Instead, I'm a borderline invalid. I'm choking and drowning on bitterness and helplessness and see no light at the end of the tunnel. This just sucks!