Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Caught Up In This Thing Called Life

Hi there. :) Remember me? I know, I know, it's been a year and a half since I last even thought of the blog, and as I signed on this morning I could barely remember my username and password (and when did blogger merge with google?). I'm sorry, but I got caught up in the dailies of life. I'm sure you know it well...husband, school, homework, sports practices and games, girl scouts, health issues, doctors visits, family life, yadda yadda yadda. It happens to all of us, and for awhile there, I was stuck on a wheel much like mouse...running and running, to no end. Not that I'm complaining. I love my family and would move mountains for them. I guess I just wish that I could manage my time more efficiently so that I can give ample time to everything...even myself. I have missed my blog though, and I'm happy to be back. I would have been back a few days sooner, if not for a computer virus, but better late than never!

The kids are doing well and are in 5th grade and 2nd grade, respectively. Can you believe it? Why do they have to grow up so fast? I miss having a little baby or toddler in the house. I feel like the more they grow up, the less they need me. Or maybe I'm just looking at it from the wrong perspective and they have been needing me more and more, judging from the lack of time that I have for everything. I'm so ready to have another one...maybe just one more and I'll be done. Maybe. ;) I've already gotten the clearance from my surgeon, so what's the hold up you say? HUBBY! My clock is ticking, though...and ticking down fast! It's kind of depressing when you look around and see people...friends and family, having babies and you want to but aren't and can't because your other half isn't ready, may never be ready, and won't even talk about the subject because it's "complicated". There's so much more I want to say, but won't, out of respect for my hubby. So that's where I am now. I'm home, crying almost daily because of the "empty nest" syndrome and can't do anything about it.

Lately I've been getting back in touch with my roots. More specifically, I've been watching Filipino movies (with subtitles, of course!), and cooking Filipino and Hawaiian kine local foods. You know it's funny...I've always embraced my Hawaiian and local kine Hawaii heritage, but spent the better half of my years denying my Filipino ethnicity, even making fun of it, calling the foods "jungle food" and teasing things like the accent, mannerisms, etc. when my grandparents even spoke the language and we all ate the foods and did half of the things that we made fun of. Now I wish I had kind of embraced it more, and even wished that I knew how to speak the languages. I'm ashamed of the way I denied who I am. I'm ashamed for calling the Philippines a "third world" country, and would even love to visit there sometime. From the looks of the scenery in the movies that I've seen, there are such beautiful places in the Philippines! Hopefully soon I can start learning how to speak Tagalog too.

So how have you all been? I apologize to all of you that have e-mailed me or called me and I haven't gotten back to you. It's not that I don't miss you or think of you (often!) because I really do. I've just been caught up in life, but hopefully soon I will learn how to manage my time more effectively to fit in phone calls, e-mails and blogs!

1 comment:

wabisabigirl said...

Stacioka! I miss you:) I check your blog every once in awhile to see if there's anything new and lo and behold there you were on Jodi's blog! So good to know that you're alive and well:) I now have a blog too:) wabisabigirl.blogspot.com :)

Stephanoka Hayle